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3rd Apr, 2009

Ok so, i made myself a new journal, ask for it if you want it. x

I'm planning on completely changing over to that journal within the next month.
Hey guiseee.....

Have you seen this?

Russell Brand / Pete Wentz. lmao.



i guess i miss missing you.
nothing's ever good enough for you.
but i've done the best i could and now i'm done.
it's over.
get over it.

Having nightmares in the day time.
let's pretend like this is the end of the world. 
(if we wish hard enough this'll end right here)
everythings perfect.
Let's destroy it. 
leave everyone's memory untainted. 
cross your fingers or cross your friends.  
act like you're cross. 
everything means something. 
but 'something...' means nothing. 
 Im fed up of people telling me to stop caring about bands so much.
Im fed up of people telling me to pay less attention to the dudes behind the music. 
im fed up of people assuming this means i know nothing of the music they play.
All these bands that i'd die for, full of shitty dudes i've never met. 
They save kid's lives. They saved MY life. 
It isn't 'all about the music', you know? 
it's all about those dudes that travelled for sometimes years of their lives in some shitty broken van.
Those dudes that just wanted someone to take notice to what they had to say. 
to pay attention to the fact they're starving and heartbroken and lonely, but they're still THERE
they're still touring. They're still waiting for someone to listen. they're still there for every kid thats been there since the beggining
they're still there for every kid thats heart beats just for them. 
they're still there for ME. 
 I officially do not attend waingels college anymore. 

last ever picture of me in my school jumper, under cut.


ps. geog was okishnot. meh.
 ungh. i have that song in my head....

"Love is not like anything, especially a fucking knife."
i love the used. 

i think i just completely fucked up the last physics exam im ever gonna do, but lets not tell daddy that. :)

im so tired. and i feel sick. 

i need to do my freaking paper round but i have no energy.
i think im sick. but i also think it should wait till friday. please.
i would love to be ok for one more day and finish my exams. 

geography tomoz, then im done peoples :).

11th Jun, 2008

 I had a nightmare in which i killed Pete Wentz and put his dead body in a suitcase.
which was actually scary.
and for some reason i was in argentina. 

yeh dude. that SCARED me. pssh. 
so yeh. no sleeping for a while again.

Today is the second to last day i ever have to wear my school uniform.


tommorow ill take some pictures and and show you lot how gross it is. 
and green.
this song just made me cry.
im blaming xscenexfreakx for reminding me that this band even exists.
so thanks :).

Do you remember how we met?
Silhouetted by the lights...
You were drunk and tried to take a mental picture with your hands
I was thinking about that
And a bunch of other things
Stop looking at the floor...
I need to pour out this expansive dose of words.

I can't explain...
I need to be alone.

I know the timing isn't great
But these things, you just can't plan.
I just need a little time
So I can find myself again
'Cause I get buried underneath
All the things they think you are
And I'm too tired to pretend it doesn't hurt
To be left out

I had a pocket full of dreams
But I gave them all to you
Now I think I want them back
So can you tell me if I'm crazy or confused?
Don't ever change
The way you are
I've never loved anyone more.

6th Jun, 2008

i feel like i'm living in every place you'd never wanna see.
these words are like photographs.
capturing one mo(ve)ment in time.

let's spread secrets like disease.
and let praise grow staler than week old bread.
this is the antithesis of everything you ever wanted. 

taking everything we ever loved and chucking it.
let's break our own hearts first.
but remember you're never far behind.

wading out deep enough to drown.

this is me trying to remember every bottle you ever swallowed from
and every song you ever screamed to.
every book you ever shed a tear over
and every movie that had you falling off your chair.

immortalise this moment in photographs
smile for the camera
pretend like everything's ok.



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April 2009


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'this is only fiction but that doesn't mean it's not real in my head. '

'What is 'tarded'?.. And how do you do it twice?'

'be weird.
take pictures.
do something no one would expect you to do.
talk to someone you never have.
be someone people think you aren't
show who you really are.
dont hide under that fake smile'

'all god does is watch us and kill us when we get boring, we must never, ever get boring.'

'Never play Cluedo with someone who has a lead pipe. They'll want to act it out'

'Things usually got nasty when people began to sound like pirates.'

"Three men walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole tale unfolds, with a tedious sense of inevitability...' Bill Bailey

' You're about as funny as being set on fire. In fact, you'd be funnier if you were on fire, please remedy this as soon as possible.'

'A sudden Wave of Depression swept over him. Furthermore, it contained Driftwood of Hopelessness and Sharks of Nihilism. There were a few Starfish of Lonliness, but they were insignificant, much like the Drowned Sailors of Insignificance which were amongst the general Wave.'

'eleven plus two is an anagram of twelve plus one.'

'Lets pretend that I know what I'm talking about, and then you'll nod and smile politely as if you understand'

'Lady Astor: Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife I would drink it.
Lady Astor: Sir, you are drunk.
Churchill: Yes madam, and you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

'yeah... you may think i'm crazy, but i'll find a way to make you sure of that '

'excuse me for not leaping for joy... bad back you know'

'Now that I think about it, I can't remember the last thing I forgot...'

'Hippopotomonstrosesquippedalio phobia: fear of long words'

'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of flying.
There is an art, it says, or, rather, a knack to flying.
The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Pick a nice day, it suggests, and try it.'

'if your parents don't have kids, then you probably won't either'

'If anything happens I'm going to need you to jump in front of me and sacrifice yourself, okay?'

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